Ocd killing me again
So I recently quit weed for 21 days but it was causing me even more anxiety but the other day I saw something bout sexual offenders are usually family, uncles and cousins, and that really triggered me and as some of you know I have sexual intrusive and they make me have weird inappropriate thoughts of my niece alot and my family members and it's because I changed my life when she was born and I was a big part of her life for the beginning few years! The urges and thoughts just absolutely destroy me gross me out and I just feel terrible. And I was sexually assaulted when I was younger and I did something to my sister while I was a baby and so was she and she doesn't remember but ive been told I got my ocd from traumatic past and now that's why I cover myself up around kids or check where my hands are all the time, it's fucking exhausting and it's causing me to lose my family as I bombarded them all with this stuff and they don't understand, I just I had someone to talk to bout this shit and not feel alone and worthless! Im a great guy and never would hurt children ever my niece feels save around me and I still feel like ive done something, they would not be hiding behind me when she gets scared, idk im struggling but still at my shitty anxiety filled job