I dont have many friends due to my mental illness. Last night a friend i knew since i was 16 commited suicide. Its making me spiral and its made me realize i dont estabilish enough personal connections. Any body here looking for friends

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Idk if this site is still active!
So im recently been dealing with a memory it was when my.uncle took me and my step brothers to west ed Waterpark like 5 or so years ago and its saying I watched them change and stuff, its making me very upset and gross and depressed! Idk wtf to do i have good days and than really shitty days
I am not a therapist but my understanding would be to just accept the thought is there, its an OCD thought and move on with your life without trying to figure it out or otherwise engage with it. With time your brain should learn its not a concern and the anxiety should decrease. I think this is the way to deal with these intrusive thoughts. You can get online therapy at NOCD or there are resources online and in libraries on how to treat OCD, but ERP is the gold standard treatment.
Ocd killing me again
So I recently quit weed for 21 days but it was causing me even more anxiety but the other day I saw something bout sexual offenders are usually family, uncles and cousins, and that really triggered me and as some of you know I have sexual intrusive and they make me have weird inappropriate thoughts of my niece alot and my family members and it's because I changed my life when she was born and I was a big part of her life for the beginning few years! The urges and thoughts just absolutely destroy me gross me out and I just feel terrible. And I was sexually assaulted when I was younger and I did something to my sister while I was a baby and so was she and she doesn't remember but ive been told I got my ocd from traumatic past and now that's why I cover…

I’m so sorry for your loss. I would suggest finding a group with a common interest. It has helped me to do so.